Snack or Prank, Trick or Treat!
by pirate kit
Summary: Halloween at the mansion. It means three things. Candy. Costumes. And Insanity. ... and fluff but that's 4 things now, so it doesn't count


A 'short' for Halloween!  I'm almost done with the next chapter of 'Private Life of Jamie Madrox'!  REALLY!  And look waaaay at the bottom.  Awwww… Romance-ish.  Keep in mind, I don't have a romantic bone in my body… I'm held up by a series of inflatable bladders…

…and now, for something completely random.  "COOKIE MONSTER!  WHEheheheeewhoooo!  YER BLUE!"  ::Kit is hanging from Beast's upheld arm.  Her toes are a few feet off the floor and her tail swings wildly::   "WEEOOOO…."  

::Then Kit fell over with something red and furry sticking out of her neck::

::Pantherdragon enters the room holding a dart gun in one hand.::  "Sorry 'bout that.  Chewed through her cage again."  ::And with that, Kit's beta drags her off to get her butt back to work on 'The Private Life of Jamie Madrox'.::

Beast: "That was weirder than it had to be…"

**Halloween!**

**10/30/03**

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"Mr. McCoy!"  A sharp and shrill voice desecrated the sterile silence of the laboratory.  Hank winced, his large furry hands jostling a highly volatile chemical mix.  Titrating acids was best done _far_ away from the commotion and explosions of the New Mutant force.  And the New Mutants felt the need to stay _far_ away from anything that they may learn from.

Which did not explain the small boy was in the lab, wearing what appeared to be Hank's good bathrobes and a set of his very large framed glasses.  Jamie Madrox was carrying a broom… perhaps he was the new night cleaning crew…

"Jamie?"  Hank set the beaker of water and acid down and stepped away from his workstation.  "What on earth are you doing?"

"Mr. McCoooooy!"  Jamie stressed the name, pouting dramatically.  "Please!  You have to come with me!"  The way the small boy shouted, he made it sound like it was a matter of life and death.

Hank assumed the worst.  "Did Ray flush your gameboy down the toilet again?  That boy has some strange affixation with the plumbing."  Heading for the storage closet, Hank prepared to find the plunger.

"No!  You have to _come_ with me!  Out!  No one else will!"  Jamie clarified, stomping one foot.  Actually, this clarification wasn't a very good explanation and Beast found himself wondering just what Multiple was babbling about.

"Jamie, where could you possibly need to go dressed like…. --Is that eyeliner on your forehead?"  Using his furry thumb, Hank tried to rub off the zigzag mark on Jamie's forehead above his eyebrow.

"No.  I couldn't find any costume makeup.  I used a marker."  Jamie blinked up at the large mutant.  "But it was a laundry marker!"

"… you are aware, my small friend, that those are permanent?"  

"… BOOOBBBBBBY!"  Jamie screeched, his face flushing in rage.  The broom clutched in Jamie's hand began to fling about wildly as he windmilled his arms.  Hank was forced to take a step back or be clubbed with the broom.

Pinning Jamie's arms to his sides before he injured someone, broke something, or caused himself to duplicate madly, Hank began to placate the boy.  "Shh, it's ok.  Just a bit of liquid Tide and it should get most of that off.  An excellent home remedy.  But I must ask… why are you dressed in my bathrobe?"

Jamie looked at Hank as if he was the largest brain-dead mammal on the planet.  "DUH!  I'm Harry Potter!  Look, I got the quidditch robes, the glasses, the broom, and the scar!"  Ah yes, that would also explain why there was a winged tennis ball sticking out of Jamie's pocket.  "But you have to come with me!"  Jamie began dragging McCoy along towards the door.

"And to where would we be going?"  Hank tried to ask the question that had been unanswered all this time.

Again, Jamie gave him that look; like Hank was a few twinkies short of a box.  "Trick or Treating!"  Jamie announced.  Hank looked vaguely surprised.  That would explain the state of the mansion.  Orange and black paper shapes decorated the hall, along with fake skeletons and spiderwebs.  Spooky music was playing on the stereo system, which Hank had mistaken for one of Rogue's favorite bands.

"Where is everyone else?"  Hank felt this question was a pretty good one.  The mansion was empty. 

Jamie began round two of pouting.  "All of the New Mutants went to this big Halloween party, but they left me behind.  They said I was too young.  Jean and Scott went to see some scary movies.  Kitty and Rogue went off to do a 'girl thing' tonight, and Kurt is off getting his OWN candy already!"  The pout was 87% more efficient than anything Kurt could conjure up.  Hank could feel his resolve crumbling.  His quiet night of lab work was coming crashing to an end.

Hank spread his arms in apology, "But I'm afraid I don't have a costu… why are you looking at me like that?"  Jamie was grinning widely, making 'creepy fingers' as he advanced on Beast.

**************************************************

"HORRAY!  Candy!"  

"Wooo!  Treats!"

"Triple treats!"  Three Jamie's were dancing about the lawn as they left the mansion.  Logan gave a grunt as they left, spearing a large candy bar with his claws and eating it.

The original Jamie was, of course, dressed as Harry Potter.  But the other two copies were wearing costumes as well.  The first duplicate was dressed as Godzilla, in a ruffled green dinosaur suit with very large, clawed boots.  The third Jamie had taped glow sticks to his entire body and tossed a white linen over his head.  He was…

"Hey!  It's a techno-sheet!" a random person in a witch costume pointed to the multiple.

"I'm a ghost!"  Copy #2 clarified.  It would have been a very convincing ghost if all the glow sticks were one color.  As it was, he looked like a ghost from the disco era.  Forge would have been proud when the 'ghost' broke into a disco-inferno seconds later.

Beast trailed behind the three boys.  His costume was drawing quite a few looks of amazement and even more giggles.  Hank was wearing a pair of googly eyeglasses.  

"Ah yes.  In case my own eyes weren't googly enough."  Hank adjusted the glasses as they wobbled in all directions.

"You're Cookie Monster!"  Jamie pointed, looking proud with the 'costume' he had assembled for Hank.

"Now I have the sudden urge to eat cookies as if my lower mandible has been broken in two places…"  

Soon, the houses were hit with extortion.  'Gimme candy or the window gets it!'.  Ok, so they were actually saying 'trick or treat', but it would have been funny to tell one of the houses that.  All three Jamies working together managed to bring in a haul like none other.  Utilizing his cuteness factor to the max, the Halloween-force of Jamies managed to even beg extra candy from people.  Could YOU say no to a cute little set of 'triplets' with big blue eyes?  I thought not…

"Ok, Squirt.  Last house.  It's getting late, and I know you'll put yourself into pancreatic shock trying to stay up and eat all of your loot."  Hank chuckled, watching as three Jamies stumbled under the weight of their bags.

"Awww, darn.  Ok, but I heard this house gives the best treats!"  Jamie had long since given Beast his broom to carry, as beating his multiples with it was no longer amusing.  

The doorway to the house was decorated in lit paper bags.  Ringing the doorbell, all three boys stepped back and put on matching angelic expressions.  Except for the last Jamie, you couldn't see his face anyway.  He was probably making faces, that weirdo.  The door opened and a woman with long brown hair answered, dressed in an orange fur body suit with black stripes.  A similarly striped tail waved behind her.  

"Oooh!  You boys are so cute!"  The young woman cooed, looking at the group in her doorway.  The Jamies began to examine the candy bowl with interest.  "It's so sweet your sons got you in a costume, too."

Hank began coughing in shock.  One of the Jamie's gave him a wide grin before raiding the candy bowl again.  "He's not… uh… he's… --very persuasive."  

"Would you like a treat too?"  A very feline-knowing smile crept on the woman's face.  If blue fur didn't cover every inch of Hank's face, he was afraid he could very well have been blushing.

"Uh, no, thank you.  I will most likely be wearing what sugar these three don't eat anyway."  Hank fiddled with the googly glasses a bit; a nervous habit.

"Well, Cookie Monster always was my favorite."  Complete and utter shock.  The woman leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.  "Happy Halloween!"

"Bye bye, Tiger-lady!  Thank you!"  All three Jamie's chimed.  Two of them grabbed the now immobile Hank McCoy's hands and began to pull him down the path to the sidewalk.  The real Jamie Madrox marched proudly in the front of the group, going through his bag of candy.

The glowsticks on Ghost-Jamie's costume were barely glowing, and the sheet was pulled back so he didn't have to look through the eye holes.  "She liiiiiked you!"

Godzilla-Jamie, not one to miss any chase to tease someone, quickly joined in.  "What's that in your haaaand?!"  He nudged Hank's side.  One of the massive blue hands opened, revealing a tiny scrap of paper.  With a number on it.  "She gave you her phoooone number!"

Clearing his throat loudly, hand tucking the piece of paper in his back pocket, Beast took each of their arms and made them lean close so he could whisper.  "Let us never speak to any of the X-men about this.  Ok?"  The boys merely grinned.

"Ok, Cookie Monster!"  The two multiples agreed.  But forever more would that all-knowing grin make Hank check his back twice.

"Hey, Mr. McCoy!  We got fifty pounds in candy!"  Jamie said from his spot in the front.

            "Stars and garters!  We're going to need a stomach pump!"

***************************************

            And not so far away….

"WOOOO!  LookitMeRun!  I'mRunning!"  Pietro spoke at near-incomprehensible speeds.  He _would_ have been running if he hadn't fallen over into some bushes.  Now his legs were flailing helplessly about as he laughed madly.

"I told you!  Two pounds of candy at once was too much."  Lance was leaned against a fence with a smirk, watching as their "leader" rolled in the leaves.  

"So it was.  Here, Pietro.  Best five bucks I ever lost, yo."  Todd was grinning from his spot on the fence.  Oh how he wished he had a camera.  Meh, he'd just have to steal one later.

"Game over already?  I've almost eaten two bags!"  Freddy looked down at his chocolate stained hands.

Pietro crawled to his knees, laughing like a castrated leprechaun.  "This is so great!  I can't feel my toes!"  And he burst out into helpless laughter again.

"So now what do we do with him until he gets down from his sugar rush, dawg?"  Toad asked.

There was a mutual silence as they all looked down at the leader of the Brotherhood.  Then they all came to a single agreement.  "Wanda."

So they dragged Pietro back.  "Hey Schmoopy!  We brought you back a pinata!"  

And Wanda was happy.

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***EPILOGUE, by the beta* [aka, the 'fake' ending]**

There is utter silence in the mansion.  Logan has long since eaten all the Babe Ruth bars and moved on to the Three Musketeers when he decided he would much rather have a beer and left.  Suddenly, a whirring sound echoes through the empty building. In the main entranceway materialized a blue phone booth --very slowly-- with the whirring sound growing louder and louder. Once it was fully transported, however, the whirring stopped. The phone booth reads "POLICE" on the side. One of the doors slowly opens, and the author's head appears. She looks indignant. 

            "Why did we have to travel this way again?" Kit asks, fully emerging from the Tardis. She is dressed like Gambit . . . well, a Gambit with boobs, anyway. 

"Because I'm Dr. Who!" came the reply as Pantherdragon emerges from the Tardis behind Kit. She is wearing a trenchcoat, a large hat, and an extremely long scarf. She lets out a happy giggle. 

 "I think you're abusing your powers as my beta. . ." Kit mutters. Pantherdragon ignores her. 

            "Don't you think this'll bring problems? I mean, you are dressed as Gambit, and he's a bad chara--" Pantherdragon began.

            "Hey! Don't look at me!  **_I _**wanted to be an Godzilla this year... but nooooo… I'm a dude with a bad French accent." Kit said, pouting. This only left Pantherdragon confused.  And hungry for candy.  So she helped herself.  

This was the moment when Scott and Jean decided to return. They were a little red in the face and out of breath, but they looked very angry when they saw 'Gambit'.  (Despite the fact that this 'Gambit' was only five feet tall, had a tail, and --thank GOD--, no facial hair)

            "Uh . . . Kit . . . " Pantherdragon begins to warn. 

            "Eeep!"  Kit squeaks, faced with two irritated looking mutants.  "Suddenly, that crazy Tardis-thingy seems like a good idea . . ." Kit said, and both girls ran for the machine. It whirrs loudly and then winks out of existence. 

            Scott looks at Jean. 

            "Ok, that is the last time I eat anything that Kitty makes, period!" he says. Jean heartily agrees.


End file.
